I am sorry I haven't kept every one updated. I've been staying away from home for the time being. The past few nights I've been couch hopping once more, it's not the most fun thing in the world, but it beats being there. I've looked all around my house and cannot find a single tape or bit of information that would lead me in a positive direction. Everything is turning up empty handed, or at least, it was.
I contacted my family and asked about where my high school year books might be, old cassettes, anything of that nature. They've got a small storage unit a few miles away and I plan to check there for some old boxes that might contain the information I need. Nothing at my home has proven to be of any use, so I'm going to check there and continue looking.
I was trying to maintain a somewhat normal life, albeit an almost hermit life. I've only kept in contact with a select few, as my trust is wavering. The reason I was prompted to leave my home to begin with was because I heard a lot of hollaring and other racket outside my house. I went downstairs after being rudely awoken by such noise, and saw two figures having a scuffle near my back yard. Then I saw it. That blasted Rabbit Mask. That sick fucker has been too close to my home.
I took my emergency kit, a backpack full of useful objects, food, tools, my knife, the works. I didn't bother calling the cops. We saw how well that went last time. So I got out as quickly as I could. I won't disclose in great detail exactly where I've been staying, I am treasuring my privacy and my secrecy at this moment in time. Took me a little while to get my head on straight and coordinate a plan of "attack" so to speak, but I think heading to that storage unit is my best bet.
I'll be heading there at some point, maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon. The less information I willingly hand out, the better. Thank you everyone who has trying to offer their aid to me. Maybe you all are right, maybe I do need to wake up and stop living in a state of perpetual denial. When I come across anything of worth, I'll archive it by posting a video update. That's the best I can offer right now.
- The Acquitted
Friday, June 10, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
This needs to be fast
Thank you everyone, for helping me with that 23:4 puzzle. Things make a little more sense, but not by much. Perhaps this White Rabbit bastard isn't as much of an enemy as I thought. Maybe he's on my side in some sort of twisted way. Fucking hell, I can't believe I'm entertaining such an idea. The concept of some illusive, enigmatic, murderous psychopath being my ally. God help us when those kinds of horrible people are our friends.
Anyway, I gotta make this as quick as I can, I feel like I've just been given a lead and time may be an obstacle against me. I just recently saw the video White Rabbit posted, a lot of it seemed to be a bunch of garbled nonsense until I started noticing similarities between what was shown and my past. It's crazy, I know, but what about this entire situation isn't crazy? I've been laying low here at my own place, I haven't done any video updates because quite frankly I've been trying to draw as little attention to myself as possible.
When I re-watched the White Rabbit video, video 4of0.wmv to be exact, that first clip is exactly indentical to the high school I attended back in 2004. In fact, I dare say it IS the high school I attended. It's not just that, but for a split second we catch the backside of a figure wearing a black hat. I used to wear those exact same clothes when I was around 14-15, I think that's me. I was so excited when I had first got my camera that my friend and I filmed almost everything we did, we even went on to make a few short films that were terrible at best.
I've got dozens and dozens of cassettes here, there's more around this house. Everything is so spread out and messy that I almost don't even know where to begin looking. If I'm right then all the answers I'm looking for could very well be in something I filmed long ago. Furthermore, we even catch a glimpse of my best friend since childhood, a guy by the name of Brandon. He was saying something to the camera about not knowing what was going on, but he looked a lot younger then. It's possible all the clips in that video, or even ALL of White Rabbits videos have been from years ago.
I don't speak to Brandon very often, he went off to join the Navy, and we write or text each other from time to time. But he's always incredibly busy. I'll post a picture of him here at the end, it's a horrible cell phone quality picture, but it was back when he was excited about joining, so he took a picture of himself in his uniform at a motel.
That girl in the video, is similar and yet different from the one White Rabbit murdered outside of Gordon's. It's a haunting image, some sort of painful reminder that tugs on my heart strings but I can't figure out why. It's entirely possible this is the same woman, perhaps at that same young age. I lost contact with a LOT of my friends from High School, in fact I hardly talk to any of them. If that footage indeed came from my camera, it's possible she plays an important role in all this. But why the shot of Brandon? Maybe this presents more questions than answers after all.
I'm not sure what's going to happen after this post, it seems the more I make myself known the deeper into all this I get. I can't just sit by idly trying to defend myself from something that refuses to come to me anymore. Anyone who walks by with a hood drawn sends a sense of panic screaming across my body, which is hard because it's been quite rainy here the past week and anyone walking around has their hood up including myself. I'm growing increasingly paranoid for my well-being.
I'm trying to ignore two thoughts that linger in my mind. The ones that are by far the most pressing and causing the most distress for me. If all those videos are things I've filmed at an earlier age, how did White Rabbit get ahold of that footage? And... What really was that thing I saw in the woods, some sort of Demon, Satan? Or maybe it was Sin incarnate, punishment for something I've done. Good God what have I gotten myself into.
- The Acquitted
Anyway, I gotta make this as quick as I can, I feel like I've just been given a lead and time may be an obstacle against me. I just recently saw the video White Rabbit posted, a lot of it seemed to be a bunch of garbled nonsense until I started noticing similarities between what was shown and my past. It's crazy, I know, but what about this entire situation isn't crazy? I've been laying low here at my own place, I haven't done any video updates because quite frankly I've been trying to draw as little attention to myself as possible.
When I re-watched the White Rabbit video, video 4of0.wmv to be exact, that first clip is exactly indentical to the high school I attended back in 2004. In fact, I dare say it IS the high school I attended. It's not just that, but for a split second we catch the backside of a figure wearing a black hat. I used to wear those exact same clothes when I was around 14-15, I think that's me. I was so excited when I had first got my camera that my friend and I filmed almost everything we did, we even went on to make a few short films that were terrible at best.
I've got dozens and dozens of cassettes here, there's more around this house. Everything is so spread out and messy that I almost don't even know where to begin looking. If I'm right then all the answers I'm looking for could very well be in something I filmed long ago. Furthermore, we even catch a glimpse of my best friend since childhood, a guy by the name of Brandon. He was saying something to the camera about not knowing what was going on, but he looked a lot younger then. It's possible all the clips in that video, or even ALL of White Rabbits videos have been from years ago.
I don't speak to Brandon very often, he went off to join the Navy, and we write or text each other from time to time. But he's always incredibly busy. I'll post a picture of him here at the end, it's a horrible cell phone quality picture, but it was back when he was excited about joining, so he took a picture of himself in his uniform at a motel.
I digress, I'm ranting, my head and chest are aching. I've kept things relatively quiet until now, but things are starting to fall into place. There's a lot of garbled text in that video that I'm finding difficulty reading, perhaps someone can lend me a hand here. The sooner I figure out what message White Rabbit is trying to send, the faster I can get on track to solving this mystery and finding out what the hell is going on.
That girl in the video, is similar and yet different from the one White Rabbit murdered outside of Gordon's. It's a haunting image, some sort of painful reminder that tugs on my heart strings but I can't figure out why. It's entirely possible this is the same woman, perhaps at that same young age. I lost contact with a LOT of my friends from High School, in fact I hardly talk to any of them. If that footage indeed came from my camera, it's possible she plays an important role in all this. But why the shot of Brandon? Maybe this presents more questions than answers after all.
I'm not sure what's going to happen after this post, it seems the more I make myself known the deeper into all this I get. I can't just sit by idly trying to defend myself from something that refuses to come to me anymore. Anyone who walks by with a hood drawn sends a sense of panic screaming across my body, which is hard because it's been quite rainy here the past week and anyone walking around has their hood up including myself. I'm growing increasingly paranoid for my well-being.
I'm trying to ignore two thoughts that linger in my mind. The ones that are by far the most pressing and causing the most distress for me. If all those videos are things I've filmed at an earlier age, how did White Rabbit get ahold of that footage? And... What really was that thing I saw in the woods, some sort of Demon, Satan? Or maybe it was Sin incarnate, punishment for something I've done. Good God what have I gotten myself into.
- The Acquitted
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Forget Fate, Forget Destiny
So as you know I've been out of the house for awhile now, pretty much couch hopping between friends and loitering around open all-night conveniance stores. I figure if I keep myself in the public eye, maybe nothing more will happen. Then again, I'd be foolish to think such a thing. I guess it's the only comfort I can take right now when I feel more isolated than I've been in a long time. Thankfully, I learned one thing through my nights of solitude. At the end of the day, the only person I can truly count on is myself.
Speaking of conveniance stores. I've had my fair share of encounters with the police over the past few nights. Anytime I linger in one spot too long they think I'm up to no good and have to bother me with a lot of questions. Eventually I settled on the story that I had gotten into a fight with my "girlfriend" that I was "living with" and decided to leave the apartment for awhile. Most of the times they bought it and simply asked me to move along. Other times they'd run my ID, do a background check, the usual. In all honesty however, being in front of an armed cop made me feel at least a little safer if that thing were to show up.
I came home earlier today, it'll be my first night back here in awhile. Found a dead rose on my doorstep, and nothing else. No note or anything along those lines. I'm not sure if someone left it there for awhile and it simply dried up and died during the hot sun or not. Eitherway that was the only thing that seemed off. Didn't appear there was any forced entry in my absence, and nothing seemed to be missing. I've been helping myself to what little beer I left in the fridge in a failed attempt to try and relax. It's really not helping too much.
Something about the air here in this home feels more oppressive than it ever has. If what Gordon had said was correct the last time we spoke, then there were in fact more of those freaks out there, probably more than I could imagine. I know they couldn't have lost me so easily, someone had to have been keeping tabs on me for months, maybe even years. This all is proving problematic because I truly don't know who I feel I can trust. Recent events have filtered out a majority of people I knew, and left only a handful I know I can rely on.
I don't even want to get into that thing I encountered at the woods. I haven't seen any signs of it nearby, but I have a bad feeling about being in this neighborhood. Regardless, I'm getting tired of running. At least if I'm on my home soil, maybe I'd stand a bit better of a chance to defend my self should the need arise. No word from that White Rabbit bastard since he contacted me on YouTube. I still don't know what to think of him, or her, or whatever. Though I noticed something interesting in all the White Rabbit videos, a signature near the end, and a number at the top left of the screen. "23:4" Any idea what that means?
Anyway, I'm taking the liberty of spending the rest of my evening making sure my home is quite secure. I'll be searching through whatever I can find to make something explosive, I should have adequate materials to make some light bulb bombs. It would take a few of those detonating directly on a person to do significant damage, but that's not what I'm counting on. At the least, they'll be enough of a painful and bright distraction for me to either escape or close the gap.
As for that woman, I'm going to take the advice of someone on YouTube and look through some old tapes of mine. I'll also be checking through my old high school year books. I know I've seen her before but I can't quite put my finger on it. If I'm lucky, maybe it'll prove a sufficient lead to figure out what the hell is going on. Good God, what have I gotten myself into?
Say a prayer for me guys.
Speaking of conveniance stores. I've had my fair share of encounters with the police over the past few nights. Anytime I linger in one spot too long they think I'm up to no good and have to bother me with a lot of questions. Eventually I settled on the story that I had gotten into a fight with my "girlfriend" that I was "living with" and decided to leave the apartment for awhile. Most of the times they bought it and simply asked me to move along. Other times they'd run my ID, do a background check, the usual. In all honesty however, being in front of an armed cop made me feel at least a little safer if that thing were to show up.
I came home earlier today, it'll be my first night back here in awhile. Found a dead rose on my doorstep, and nothing else. No note or anything along those lines. I'm not sure if someone left it there for awhile and it simply dried up and died during the hot sun or not. Eitherway that was the only thing that seemed off. Didn't appear there was any forced entry in my absence, and nothing seemed to be missing. I've been helping myself to what little beer I left in the fridge in a failed attempt to try and relax. It's really not helping too much.
Something about the air here in this home feels more oppressive than it ever has. If what Gordon had said was correct the last time we spoke, then there were in fact more of those freaks out there, probably more than I could imagine. I know they couldn't have lost me so easily, someone had to have been keeping tabs on me for months, maybe even years. This all is proving problematic because I truly don't know who I feel I can trust. Recent events have filtered out a majority of people I knew, and left only a handful I know I can rely on.
I don't even want to get into that thing I encountered at the woods. I haven't seen any signs of it nearby, but I have a bad feeling about being in this neighborhood. Regardless, I'm getting tired of running. At least if I'm on my home soil, maybe I'd stand a bit better of a chance to defend my self should the need arise. No word from that White Rabbit bastard since he contacted me on YouTube. I still don't know what to think of him, or her, or whatever. Though I noticed something interesting in all the White Rabbit videos, a signature near the end, and a number at the top left of the screen. "23:4" Any idea what that means?
Anyway, I'm taking the liberty of spending the rest of my evening making sure my home is quite secure. I'll be searching through whatever I can find to make something explosive, I should have adequate materials to make some light bulb bombs. It would take a few of those detonating directly on a person to do significant damage, but that's not what I'm counting on. At the least, they'll be enough of a painful and bright distraction for me to either escape or close the gap.
As for that woman, I'm going to take the advice of someone on YouTube and look through some old tapes of mine. I'll also be checking through my old high school year books. I know I've seen her before but I can't quite put my finger on it. If I'm lucky, maybe it'll prove a sufficient lead to figure out what the hell is going on. Good God, what have I gotten myself into?
Say a prayer for me guys.
“I can't control my destiny, I trust my soul, my only goal is just to be. There's only now, there's only here. Give in to love or live in fear. No other path, no other way. No day but today.”
- The Acquitted
Thursday, April 28, 2011
She left
She just... up and left. I guess I can't say I blame her. She's enduring enough in her life, she doesn't need me, or the burdens I undoubtedly place upon her shoulders. I do not believe you'll be hearing about Sara from this point on. It's all for the best. She doesn't deserve to be dragged down into this situation, especially if I brought this all on myself.
I'm gonna miss her. That much is for sure. Quite some time was devoted for her only for it all to crumble to dust. I really don't want to go into too many details. Even now I don't desire to type up another blog. I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. I haven't been to my home, I haven't been anywhere near that area.
I need to find a new place to go. I'm typing this all up on my laptop through a shitty unsecured network. If I type a few words it will lag, and take a couple moments to finally catch up to what I've actually written. I'd head back to the library and purchase more time there on a more stable network, but I'm slowly running out of money.
I'll need to get back to my life eventually. With any luck, maybe this has all blown over. I don't know. I just don't know anymore.
I'm sorry for failing you Sara. I'm sorry I wasn't everything you wanted. Forgive me.
- The Acquitted
I'm gonna miss her. That much is for sure. Quite some time was devoted for her only for it all to crumble to dust. I really don't want to go into too many details. Even now I don't desire to type up another blog. I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. I haven't been to my home, I haven't been anywhere near that area.
I need to find a new place to go. I'm typing this all up on my laptop through a shitty unsecured network. If I type a few words it will lag, and take a couple moments to finally catch up to what I've actually written. I'd head back to the library and purchase more time there on a more stable network, but I'm slowly running out of money.
I'll need to get back to my life eventually. With any luck, maybe this has all blown over. I don't know. I just don't know anymore.
I'm sorry for failing you Sara. I'm sorry I wasn't everything you wanted. Forgive me.
- The Acquitted
Saturday, April 23, 2011
That's not me.
Ever since the posting of that last video, I've been feeling incredibly ill. So much has happened since then but it all feels like it's only been a matter of hours. It's so hard to describe with this constant pounding in my head. I have to make this blog quick and to the point, I'm currently on my last little bit of internet time here at this library and I thought I'd at least post to let people know I'm still alive.
I haven't been to my place much. After the video, I ran back home, and managed to stay there for the night. I've never been so uneasy and paranoid in my whole life. Even in the little sleep I managed to get, I was still clinging to my knife so tightly that my fingers were going numb. It felt like every few minutes my eyes would shoot wide open and I'd be greeted by nothing but darkness. Even the shadows themselves never seemed so black. The morning after was no better. I was coughing and throwing up profusely, and I still feel that way even now.
I haven't really talked to anyone. What the hell am I supposed to say? Some demonic looking creature straight out of the Hellsing manga decided to try and attack me in the woods? I already look like I'm on the lunacy fringe right now, talking like that would only further confirm my deteriorating mental state.
I truly don't feel like anywhere is safe right now. I keep expecting to turn my head and be greeted by something unholy and terrifying. Every few seconds I swear I can see those horrible black tentacles out of the corner of my eye. Just flowing effortlessly through the air and begging me to sit still long enough to make that THING'S job easier.
I need to try and get ahold of someone. I've been trying to contact Sara recently but there's no luck. I'm going to be on my way to her place soon. I won't be bringing my camera, I don't have time or the means to film this whole ordeal right now. I need to get my head straight. Maybe seeing the girl I love will help calm me. I don't know anymore. I'm willing to try anything to just make this anxiety go away.
- The Acquitted
I haven't been to my place much. After the video, I ran back home, and managed to stay there for the night. I've never been so uneasy and paranoid in my whole life. Even in the little sleep I managed to get, I was still clinging to my knife so tightly that my fingers were going numb. It felt like every few minutes my eyes would shoot wide open and I'd be greeted by nothing but darkness. Even the shadows themselves never seemed so black. The morning after was no better. I was coughing and throwing up profusely, and I still feel that way even now.
I haven't really talked to anyone. What the hell am I supposed to say? Some demonic looking creature straight out of the Hellsing manga decided to try and attack me in the woods? I already look like I'm on the lunacy fringe right now, talking like that would only further confirm my deteriorating mental state.
I truly don't feel like anywhere is safe right now. I keep expecting to turn my head and be greeted by something unholy and terrifying. Every few seconds I swear I can see those horrible black tentacles out of the corner of my eye. Just flowing effortlessly through the air and begging me to sit still long enough to make that THING'S job easier.
I need to try and get ahold of someone. I've been trying to contact Sara recently but there's no luck. I'm going to be on my way to her place soon. I won't be bringing my camera, I don't have time or the means to film this whole ordeal right now. I need to get my head straight. Maybe seeing the girl I love will help calm me. I don't know anymore. I'm willing to try anything to just make this anxiety go away.
- The Acquitted
Saturday, April 16, 2011
I don't know what to think
Got a video up on YouTube, which I'm sure has been seen already. Virtually everything I needed to say was already said. All this shit still doesn't feel real. I can't get ahold of Gordon. It shows he's online sometimes on Skype, but he doesn't stick around long enough to reply. But I guess it's at least a good sign that he's not dead. I'll probably visit him in a few days, right now I'm very tired physically and mentally. Not to mention I'm also a little nervous of being near that area.
I swear the cops here are just for show. They have no problem pulling people over for the silliest reasons, but when something serious actually happens they accuse it of being fake. I guess I can't really blame them, from what I gather no body was ever found. There were no drops of blood, no sign of struggle, nothing of the sort. Which is strange because there was quite a bit of blood that I saw on that footage.
From what I can tell it looks like she was stabbed a few times in the abdomin, pausing the video at the right time definitely shows the skin lifting and what appears to be her intestines exposed amidst a mess of blood. There was quite a bit of blood smeared across her neck and face in general, I'm guessing the attacker muffled her screams with his own bloodied hand. I'm no crime expert, but it didn't look like blood flowing from her mouth, but rather blood that was rubbed on her face.
Just thinking about it is making me pretty ill right now. It was impossibly hard to sleep last night, though for some strange reason I did manage to nod off for a little while. In my unconscious state I remember having a very vivid dream of going through a field that had fire slowly spreading throughout it. The flames were licking at the air, and from them thousands of glistening red and orange butterflies took flight. It was like they were a part of the fire itself and sought to spread to the sky. That's about all I recall bfeore waking up abruptly to a noise outside my room.
Thankfully however, it was just my cat scratching at a nearby box. That's just his way of letting me know he's hungry. Even still it made my heart jump, it's to the point where I'm sleeping with a knife underneath my pillow. I felt kinda silly charging out my door, holding a knife, only to be greeted by my small furry pet. I've always hated how he wakes me up sometimes, but I can definitely say this was one night I was relieved to find him parked on the ground looking up curiously at me.
I've talked to Sara a little bit about the incident that happened the other day. She was planning to come over today but I think something came up. Can't say I blame her, I feel dead, I wouldn't want to be around me either. Unlike her however, I don't have a choice.
Take care everyone.
- The Acquitted
I swear the cops here are just for show. They have no problem pulling people over for the silliest reasons, but when something serious actually happens they accuse it of being fake. I guess I can't really blame them, from what I gather no body was ever found. There were no drops of blood, no sign of struggle, nothing of the sort. Which is strange because there was quite a bit of blood that I saw on that footage.
From what I can tell it looks like she was stabbed a few times in the abdomin, pausing the video at the right time definitely shows the skin lifting and what appears to be her intestines exposed amidst a mess of blood. There was quite a bit of blood smeared across her neck and face in general, I'm guessing the attacker muffled her screams with his own bloodied hand. I'm no crime expert, but it didn't look like blood flowing from her mouth, but rather blood that was rubbed on her face.
Just thinking about it is making me pretty ill right now. It was impossibly hard to sleep last night, though for some strange reason I did manage to nod off for a little while. In my unconscious state I remember having a very vivid dream of going through a field that had fire slowly spreading throughout it. The flames were licking at the air, and from them thousands of glistening red and orange butterflies took flight. It was like they were a part of the fire itself and sought to spread to the sky. That's about all I recall bfeore waking up abruptly to a noise outside my room.
Thankfully however, it was just my cat scratching at a nearby box. That's just his way of letting me know he's hungry. Even still it made my heart jump, it's to the point where I'm sleeping with a knife underneath my pillow. I felt kinda silly charging out my door, holding a knife, only to be greeted by my small furry pet. I've always hated how he wakes me up sometimes, but I can definitely say this was one night I was relieved to find him parked on the ground looking up curiously at me.
I've talked to Sara a little bit about the incident that happened the other day. She was planning to come over today but I think something came up. Can't say I blame her, I feel dead, I wouldn't want to be around me either. Unlike her however, I don't have a choice.
Take care everyone.
- The Acquitted
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Miserable
I feel absolutely miserable right now. I got a little rest last night at Gordon's house, but not enough to really feel much better. My eyes still burn from exhaustion, and my body feels like it weighs ten tons.
On my way to Gordon's house I once again had the feeling I was being followed, but I didn't get my camera out in time. I noticed a black hooded figure lingering behind a row of cars, but when I went to inspect it there was nothing there. I'm starting to suspect this is less about a prank and possibly something a bit more serious. That or this sleep deprivation is really getting the better of my mental state.
To further elaborate on my deteriorating thought process, last night was a trippy experience all together. It would feel like I was sitting beside myself, watching me, watch Gordon play a video game. It was rather redundant but rather strange as well. I can only describe the event as similar to my previous experiences with Astral Projection but in a different form. I can't recall fading in and out of consciousness, as anytime I felt like I was watching myself, the me that I was watching looked wide awake (albeit "zombified").
I came home early this morning though I wasn't exactly looking forward to it. To my surprise there were no random notes, and nothing seemed out of place or out of the ordinary. This was only a temporary relief. I'm hoping perhaps I can get more than just a few hours of sleep tonight.
On a side note, I wound up leaving my camera over at Gordon's last night and am hoping to get it back before I rest. We'll see how that goes. He says it'll be here either tonight or tomorrow, whenever he feels like taking time out of his schedule to deliver it to me. Can't really blame him, he gets about as much sleep as I have. Right now even I'm too exhausted to walk through the neighborhood to get it myself.
That's all for now. Take care everyone, wish me luck on my attempts at sleep.
- The Acquitted
On my way to Gordon's house I once again had the feeling I was being followed, but I didn't get my camera out in time. I noticed a black hooded figure lingering behind a row of cars, but when I went to inspect it there was nothing there. I'm starting to suspect this is less about a prank and possibly something a bit more serious. That or this sleep deprivation is really getting the better of my mental state.
To further elaborate on my deteriorating thought process, last night was a trippy experience all together. It would feel like I was sitting beside myself, watching me, watch Gordon play a video game. It was rather redundant but rather strange as well. I can only describe the event as similar to my previous experiences with Astral Projection but in a different form. I can't recall fading in and out of consciousness, as anytime I felt like I was watching myself, the me that I was watching looked wide awake (albeit "zombified").
I came home early this morning though I wasn't exactly looking forward to it. To my surprise there were no random notes, and nothing seemed out of place or out of the ordinary. This was only a temporary relief. I'm hoping perhaps I can get more than just a few hours of sleep tonight.
On a side note, I wound up leaving my camera over at Gordon's last night and am hoping to get it back before I rest. We'll see how that goes. He says it'll be here either tonight or tomorrow, whenever he feels like taking time out of his schedule to deliver it to me. Can't really blame him, he gets about as much sleep as I have. Right now even I'm too exhausted to walk through the neighborhood to get it myself.
That's all for now. Take care everyone, wish me luck on my attempts at sleep.
- The Acquitted
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
This was unexpected
Well, I went to Gordon's house like I said I was going to. Had a pretty fun time, we got some Borderlands Lan in. Managed to level up and play some of the DLC that I had finally gotten around to downloading. It was a pretty fun time up until I was ready to crash.
Honestly I was feeling pretty tired towards the end of our Borderlands Lan session and fell asleep at about ten ish. I remember having a pretty bad dream about a field that was on fire and being consumed by the flames. It was unsettling but that wasn't exactly the worst part of my night.
I know I took my medicine. I'm absolutely sure I did. Unfortunately when Gordon decided he was going to prank me after I had fallen asleep, I was nowhere to be seen. He found me upstairs, sitting outside on one of his white chairs, playing with a knife. I don't remember getting up, I'm fairly certain I was still dreaming at the time, which disturbs me.
Call it paranoia as a result of exhaustion, but I could've swore I was being watched the rest of the night. I'm starting to think this journey into Astral Projection and so forth is really going to bite me in the ass but I don't really wanna stop. I'm so fascinated by it all and I know I'll find a mental balance in time.
Might start hanging out with Gordon a little more in the coming days, that's the plan at least. With any luck I'll actually be able to rest at his place and perhaps practice some Astral Projection there. Who knows.
Take care everyone!
- The Acquitted
Monday, March 28, 2011
Quick Update
So just a random update. It seems my attempts at Astral Projection have proven to be a bit more successful. I'm fairly certain I've managed to have a more vivid out of body experience than I did before. It lasted a little longer, but I found myself in a very weird black void again. This experience seemed to last longer, but I wasn't really sure where to go from there. Shortly after it seemed I was drawn back to my house, aimlessly wandering around and watching my body sleep. If I were to estimate a time, I'd say I was out of my body for about fifteen minutes before I was pulled right back in.
When I did get drawn back in however, I woke up immediately and found it kind of hard to sleep after that. Had a strange feeling of anxiety kinda flooding over my mind and body. It was just really hard to relax. I'm not sure if this is normal after an out of body experience, but I would assume that there's not much to worry about.
After falling back asleep I remember having a strange dream again. Seemed I was being followed in this dream. Not entirely sure by what, but I distinctly remember a great feeling of fear taking hold of me. I woke up shortly after and stayed awake for the duration of the night. I would imagine that through Astral Projection, one's mind has to shift from a state of what it would normally perceive, and the perception of an Astral Plane. I'm hoping that's what triggered my strange nightmare.
Anyway. Going to head over to my buddy Gordon's house tonight and probably play some Borderlands Lan. Not sure I'm going to apply any Astral Projection techniques to my slumber, but we'll see how things go. I might bring my camera, just for the hell of it. I know Gordon has been dying to play around with it.
Take care all, I'll update tomorrow, possibly with a video!
- The Acquitted
When I did get drawn back in however, I woke up immediately and found it kind of hard to sleep after that. Had a strange feeling of anxiety kinda flooding over my mind and body. It was just really hard to relax. I'm not sure if this is normal after an out of body experience, but I would assume that there's not much to worry about.
After falling back asleep I remember having a strange dream again. Seemed I was being followed in this dream. Not entirely sure by what, but I distinctly remember a great feeling of fear taking hold of me. I woke up shortly after and stayed awake for the duration of the night. I would imagine that through Astral Projection, one's mind has to shift from a state of what it would normally perceive, and the perception of an Astral Plane. I'm hoping that's what triggered my strange nightmare.
Anyway. Going to head over to my buddy Gordon's house tonight and probably play some Borderlands Lan. Not sure I'm going to apply any Astral Projection techniques to my slumber, but we'll see how things go. I might bring my camera, just for the hell of it. I know Gordon has been dying to play around with it.
Take care all, I'll update tomorrow, possibly with a video!
- The Acquitted
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Here goes nothing
So I'm gonna try some more attempts at Astral Projection. I haven't been delving into Lucid Dreaming much as it's becoming more a side journey for me. I feel Astral Projection really will lead me in a profound direction, call it a hunch, but I'm hoping it will be very enlightening. I'm gonna apply some of the other methods Sara discussed with me that we didn't all get on video, and see where it leads me.
No more real strange dreams. The last dream I had was actually relatively amusing albeit far from lucid. I was at some sorta bar with my friends, whom are under the age of 21. I don't look like I'm 21, so the waiter who was taking our order for food questioned my appearance and ID when I asked for beer as well. I remember chewing him out in a very thorough manner about how I don't appreciate his behavior and asking to speak to a manager.
Somewhere around there I managed to score a round of Beer on the house for my friends and I. The ladies we were with Sara and her friend, were underage. So my buddy Gordon and I took their beers and proceeded to down them. The reason Gordon didn't get questioned is cause he (unlike me), can grow a full beard and definitely looks the part. I guess they figured if I looked like I was 16, but was drinking age, then the guy next to me who looks 23 but is actually 19, must also be legal.
Kinda funny. I needed a funny dream to relieve some of my stress. Though it really made me want to drink tonight and I'm fresh outta cash. Gotta wait to get paid here soon. More videos will be on the way guys!
Have a wonderful day
- The Acquitted
No more real strange dreams. The last dream I had was actually relatively amusing albeit far from lucid. I was at some sorta bar with my friends, whom are under the age of 21. I don't look like I'm 21, so the waiter who was taking our order for food questioned my appearance and ID when I asked for beer as well. I remember chewing him out in a very thorough manner about how I don't appreciate his behavior and asking to speak to a manager.
Somewhere around there I managed to score a round of Beer on the house for my friends and I. The ladies we were with Sara and her friend, were underage. So my buddy Gordon and I took their beers and proceeded to down them. The reason Gordon didn't get questioned is cause he (unlike me), can grow a full beard and definitely looks the part. I guess they figured if I looked like I was 16, but was drinking age, then the guy next to me who looks 23 but is actually 19, must also be legal.
Kinda funny. I needed a funny dream to relieve some of my stress. Though it really made me want to drink tonight and I'm fresh outta cash. Gotta wait to get paid here soon. More videos will be on the way guys!
Have a wonderful day
- The Acquitted
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Brushing the dust off
Wow. I'm super sorry that I haven't made a new blog recently. I've been getting in over my head with a lotta stuff right now. Some issues with friends, family, times are stressful at the moment and I'm just not making enough money to support those I care about as well as myself. As a result I've been incredibly exhausted lately, mainly due to my lack of sleep. But here's a brief update or two.
Might as well get this one out of the way. I posted a video up on YouTube. It's mainly just a, "Hey, I said I was gonna do this shit and I finally got it done" video. Nothing all that interesting. For that I apologize. I know, I know. I really need to get the ball rolling. But it's been crazy lately. Here is the start of my Vlog.
As I've stated before, I've been finding it difficult to sleep. I attribute this to the overwhelming stress that generally comes towards the end of the month. Come next month I'll be more on top of things and probably have another slow down as I try to figure things out. This is just how it's been for awhile now, I hope you guys understand.
In regards to any dreams I've been having, truthfully I don't remember most of them. On a few occasions I've woken up in a cold sweat and felt generally sick to my stomache and I'm not sure why. I think this is mostly because of my lack of appetitite, and when I do decide to eat I don't exactly pick the best foods to munch on. Go figure, eating only spicy ramen for a living can do a number on your system.
I mention I've had a successful attempt at "Astral Projection" in my video, shortly after a random YouTube glitch. It may have been a dream but I'm honestly not sure. I remember seeing my body sleeping in my bed quite vividly before I was cast into some sort of black void and immediately "waking up". After doing more research and talking to friends, I've been told this is perfectly normal. They say that the first few attempts at Astral Projection don't last very long, it takes time to develope. Aside from smoking killing me slowly, I've got all the time in the world.
That's enough of my ranting. I've been hanging out with Sara recently, and we haven't gotten around to film that informational meditation video. She's been dealing with a lot on her own so I've opted not to bug her about my little hobby. Less that she has to worry about right? But I'll be updating regularly at least on my blog again, that's my plan.
Take care everyone.
- The Acquitted
Might as well get this one out of the way. I posted a video up on YouTube. It's mainly just a, "Hey, I said I was gonna do this shit and I finally got it done" video. Nothing all that interesting. For that I apologize. I know, I know. I really need to get the ball rolling. But it's been crazy lately. Here is the start of my Vlog.
As I've stated before, I've been finding it difficult to sleep. I attribute this to the overwhelming stress that generally comes towards the end of the month. Come next month I'll be more on top of things and probably have another slow down as I try to figure things out. This is just how it's been for awhile now, I hope you guys understand.
In regards to any dreams I've been having, truthfully I don't remember most of them. On a few occasions I've woken up in a cold sweat and felt generally sick to my stomache and I'm not sure why. I think this is mostly because of my lack of appetitite, and when I do decide to eat I don't exactly pick the best foods to munch on. Go figure, eating only spicy ramen for a living can do a number on your system.
I mention I've had a successful attempt at "Astral Projection" in my video, shortly after a random YouTube glitch. It may have been a dream but I'm honestly not sure. I remember seeing my body sleeping in my bed quite vividly before I was cast into some sort of black void and immediately "waking up". After doing more research and talking to friends, I've been told this is perfectly normal. They say that the first few attempts at Astral Projection don't last very long, it takes time to develope. Aside from smoking killing me slowly, I've got all the time in the world.
That's enough of my ranting. I've been hanging out with Sara recently, and we haven't gotten around to film that informational meditation video. She's been dealing with a lot on her own so I've opted not to bug her about my little hobby. Less that she has to worry about right? But I'll be updating regularly at least on my blog again, that's my plan.
Take care everyone.
- The Acquitted
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Anyone else see this?
House Explosion, Two People Missing
It's not that far away from where I'm at. That's absolutely nuts. You guys gotta check that out.
Anyway. I'm trying to get ready to start my day really quickly. Got a lot of plans and don't really have time to sit down and follow through with today's dream journal. For once I got a decent night's sleep, which is definitely nice. No sleep walking that I'm aware of.
I'm gonna record my dream journal later on, when I have a chance to sit down with my camera. I'll then compile some of them and post them on the new YouTube account that I have yet to make. I'm slacking, I know. So, forgive me everyone that I'm a busy bee today. Wish me luck, got a dinner date and I'm hoping it's going to be a good one.
Take care everybody!
- The Acquitted
It's not that far away from where I'm at. That's absolutely nuts. You guys gotta check that out.
Anyway. I'm trying to get ready to start my day really quickly. Got a lot of plans and don't really have time to sit down and follow through with today's dream journal. For once I got a decent night's sleep, which is definitely nice. No sleep walking that I'm aware of.
I'm gonna record my dream journal later on, when I have a chance to sit down with my camera. I'll then compile some of them and post them on the new YouTube account that I have yet to make. I'm slacking, I know. So, forgive me everyone that I'm a busy bee today. Wish me luck, got a dinner date and I'm hoping it's going to be a good one.
Take care everybody!
- The Acquitted
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Well today was unexpectedly rocky
I'm not gonna lie right now guys. I'm absolutely exhausted today. I woke up sometime last night to find myself sitting at the bottom of my stairs, taking off my shoes and socks. I didn't fall asleep with them on obviously. I'm a little concerned that things I once had under control are starting to slip from my grasp. I'm trying not to get too personal here, but I've been battling manic depression, insomnia and sleep walking for as long as I can remember. I'm on a slew of different medications that are supposed to help with these conditions, and they seemed to be working.
Judging from last night's events I believe I had another sleep walking episode. I haven't kept track of my cigarettes as well as I should have, but based on the way my mouth tasted when I "came to", I'd say I was outside smoking. My brain apparently told my body I needed nicotine but didn't bother to bring me to a full state of consciousness. I guess it's kinda funny when I put it like that.
In any case, I suppose I should mention the dream I had last night. Really not much to say, once more this was not a Lucid Dream which is what my ultimate goal was. However I do remember very vividly having a running dream. It was short lived though. It was night time, I was running through some sort of forested area. I don't remember feeling a sense of fear, more a sense of urgency. I know for a fact I wasn't being chased by anyone or anything, but instead it felt like I was pursuing someone very intently. Not sure who, or what it was I was running after, but I woke up before I could find out.
A friend suggested that maybe I send in my dreams to a self proclaimed "expert" on deciphering the meanings of dreams. I don't think I'm going to do that. Personally I'm the kinda person who believes that dreams are completely random and based on mood, and thought, rather than being some sort of psychic foreshadowing. I guess the option is still open if I get particularly bored, but if I do manage to induce Lucid Dreams more regularly that would prove to me that dreams hold no real significance other than giving your mind a chance to escape.
Oh, on a completely different note; I will be setting up a YouTube channel and probably posting my dreams there as well. I've already got a couple recorded because quite frankly it's a lot easier to talk into a camera when you're groggy and tired than it is to sit in front of a bright computer monitor and compose your thoughts. This was a suggestion of my lady friend, and I think I'm gonna take it to heart. Maybe someone will be interested in my studies and methods that I'm trying.
Still haven't gotten to the subject of Astral Projection yet, but my gal is actually going to help me with some meditation methods she's learned on her own. She thinks that this might be beneficial to my Astral Projection if I can induce some form of meditation while I'm asleep and completely propel my thoughts out of my physical body. I guess it's worth a shot right?
Anyway, take care everyone and have a wonderful rest of your day.
- The Acquitted
Judging from last night's events I believe I had another sleep walking episode. I haven't kept track of my cigarettes as well as I should have, but based on the way my mouth tasted when I "came to", I'd say I was outside smoking. My brain apparently told my body I needed nicotine but didn't bother to bring me to a full state of consciousness. I guess it's kinda funny when I put it like that.
In any case, I suppose I should mention the dream I had last night. Really not much to say, once more this was not a Lucid Dream which is what my ultimate goal was. However I do remember very vividly having a running dream. It was short lived though. It was night time, I was running through some sort of forested area. I don't remember feeling a sense of fear, more a sense of urgency. I know for a fact I wasn't being chased by anyone or anything, but instead it felt like I was pursuing someone very intently. Not sure who, or what it was I was running after, but I woke up before I could find out.
A friend suggested that maybe I send in my dreams to a self proclaimed "expert" on deciphering the meanings of dreams. I don't think I'm going to do that. Personally I'm the kinda person who believes that dreams are completely random and based on mood, and thought, rather than being some sort of psychic foreshadowing. I guess the option is still open if I get particularly bored, but if I do manage to induce Lucid Dreams more regularly that would prove to me that dreams hold no real significance other than giving your mind a chance to escape.
Oh, on a completely different note; I will be setting up a YouTube channel and probably posting my dreams there as well. I've already got a couple recorded because quite frankly it's a lot easier to talk into a camera when you're groggy and tired than it is to sit in front of a bright computer monitor and compose your thoughts. This was a suggestion of my lady friend, and I think I'm gonna take it to heart. Maybe someone will be interested in my studies and methods that I'm trying.
Still haven't gotten to the subject of Astral Projection yet, but my gal is actually going to help me with some meditation methods she's learned on her own. She thinks that this might be beneficial to my Astral Projection if I can induce some form of meditation while I'm asleep and completely propel my thoughts out of my physical body. I guess it's worth a shot right?
Anyway, take care everyone and have a wonderful rest of your day.
- The Acquitted
Monday, March 7, 2011
Dream Journal
Alright, so I tried my hand at a Lucid Dreaming technique last night with little success. This was due mainly to my lack of sleep as I had trouble finally falling asleep. I've got squirrels or something in the attic which kept scratching around and making some obnoxious noises. This coupled with an arguement I recently had with one of my friends was weighing heavily on my thoughts. Not a good night to start documenting this journey. Either way, I've been trying my hand at another technique and keeping a dream journal to help induce Lucid Dreaming. Got a lot written down in notebooks but only now am I making my recent dreams public.
Sadly I don't remember a lot of what I dreamt last night. The key details that are less fuzzy seem to stand out the most prominently. I was taking a nice walk with my lady friend, in an area near my neighborhood that is essentially a bike path. We were walking beside a large creek (this area of town is named after the creek, silly right?) that was pretty relaxing with the rushing water over the rocks. We continued following the trail into a more heavily wooded area, keeping ourselves entertained through conversation. Apparently it was cold out because I remember handing her my jacket and walking without it at one point. The dream got sorta weird there at the end when she stopped and pointed at something. I don't remember what it was she was pointing at, that's about the time I woke up.
I know. I'm sorry guys. Not the most eventful or creative dream but, again, I attribute this to several other factors going on at the time. Either way I wanted to keep you all updated in some form or another since I said I would.
We're expecting some snow today, the weather is already changing and getting more bitter outside. Despite this though I've got some plans to see a friend and my gal later on. We're supposed to gather together and have some sorta movie fest for awhile. Not looking forward to the drive back to her place, as it's going to be snowing by then, but I think it's going to be worth it.
Take care everyone and have a wonderful day!
- The Acquitted
Sadly I don't remember a lot of what I dreamt last night. The key details that are less fuzzy seem to stand out the most prominently. I was taking a nice walk with my lady friend, in an area near my neighborhood that is essentially a bike path. We were walking beside a large creek (this area of town is named after the creek, silly right?) that was pretty relaxing with the rushing water over the rocks. We continued following the trail into a more heavily wooded area, keeping ourselves entertained through conversation. Apparently it was cold out because I remember handing her my jacket and walking without it at one point. The dream got sorta weird there at the end when she stopped and pointed at something. I don't remember what it was she was pointing at, that's about the time I woke up.
I know. I'm sorry guys. Not the most eventful or creative dream but, again, I attribute this to several other factors going on at the time. Either way I wanted to keep you all updated in some form or another since I said I would.
We're expecting some snow today, the weather is already changing and getting more bitter outside. Despite this though I've got some plans to see a friend and my gal later on. We're supposed to gather together and have some sorta movie fest for awhile. Not looking forward to the drive back to her place, as it's going to be snowing by then, but I think it's going to be worth it.
Take care everyone and have a wonderful day!
- The Acquitted
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Astral Dreams
Well, just started this blog to document my attempts and methods of both lucid dreaming and astral projection. I did a lost of research on it when I was younger and found the concepts to be very interesting. So now that I've got a bit more free time than usual I figure I'd not only give it a shot, but write down my experiences on the subject matter.
For those who don't know, Lucid Dreaming is the sort of dream you have when you're absolutely aware of the dream you're in. This allows you to control the way the dream unfolds, set the pace, mood, pretty much anything you want. The sheer limitless potential at hand in a Lucid Dream is the closest experience humans will ever have to being God.
Astral Projection is a little more complicated. It's certainly a lot harder to accomplish. The easiest way to describe Astral Projection is an out of body experience. It's what would happen if you were to leave your sleeping body behind and wander around, or even watch yourself sleep. This concept is more out there, but still worth looking into.
A lot of people will experience Lucid Dreams throughout their lives without ever knowing what they truly are. On the other hand very few will just randomly have an out of body experience. As a result, what truly triggers astral projection is largely debated. However there are numerous ways to induce Lucid Dreams that sound plausible, so I'll be trying some of those out and letting people know how they work.
Also just for the sheer enjoyment of writing a blog and getting the chance to jot down my thoughts. I might as well use this time to talk about myself, my day, all that jazz. The typical stuff you'd read on most blogs. I don't really know what I'm doing since this is my first real blog experience so be patient.
Gonna get a jump start on my day, need to take a shower and maybe have some breakfast. Take care all, and have a wonderful day!
- The Acquitted
For those who don't know, Lucid Dreaming is the sort of dream you have when you're absolutely aware of the dream you're in. This allows you to control the way the dream unfolds, set the pace, mood, pretty much anything you want. The sheer limitless potential at hand in a Lucid Dream is the closest experience humans will ever have to being God.
Astral Projection is a little more complicated. It's certainly a lot harder to accomplish. The easiest way to describe Astral Projection is an out of body experience. It's what would happen if you were to leave your sleeping body behind and wander around, or even watch yourself sleep. This concept is more out there, but still worth looking into.
A lot of people will experience Lucid Dreams throughout their lives without ever knowing what they truly are. On the other hand very few will just randomly have an out of body experience. As a result, what truly triggers astral projection is largely debated. However there are numerous ways to induce Lucid Dreams that sound plausible, so I'll be trying some of those out and letting people know how they work.
Also just for the sheer enjoyment of writing a blog and getting the chance to jot down my thoughts. I might as well use this time to talk about myself, my day, all that jazz. The typical stuff you'd read on most blogs. I don't really know what I'm doing since this is my first real blog experience so be patient.
Gonna get a jump start on my day, need to take a shower and maybe have some breakfast. Take care all, and have a wonderful day!
- The Acquitted
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