She just... up and left. I guess I can't say I blame her. She's enduring enough in her life, she doesn't need me, or the burdens I undoubtedly place upon her shoulders. I do not believe you'll be hearing about Sara from this point on. It's all for the best. She doesn't deserve to be dragged down into this situation, especially if I brought this all on myself.
I'm gonna miss her. That much is for sure. Quite some time was devoted for her only for it all to crumble to dust. I really don't want to go into too many details. Even now I don't desire to type up another blog. I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. I haven't been to my home, I haven't been anywhere near that area.
I need to find a new place to go. I'm typing this all up on my laptop through a shitty unsecured network. If I type a few words it will lag, and take a couple moments to finally catch up to what I've actually written. I'd head back to the library and purchase more time there on a more stable network, but I'm slowly running out of money.
I'll need to get back to my life eventually. With any luck, maybe this has all blown over. I don't know. I just don't know anymore.
I'm sorry for failing you Sara. I'm sorry I wasn't everything you wanted. Forgive me.
- The Acquitted
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
That's not me.
Ever since the posting of that last video, I've been feeling incredibly ill. So much has happened since then but it all feels like it's only been a matter of hours. It's so hard to describe with this constant pounding in my head. I have to make this blog quick and to the point, I'm currently on my last little bit of internet time here at this library and I thought I'd at least post to let people know I'm still alive.
I haven't been to my place much. After the video, I ran back home, and managed to stay there for the night. I've never been so uneasy and paranoid in my whole life. Even in the little sleep I managed to get, I was still clinging to my knife so tightly that my fingers were going numb. It felt like every few minutes my eyes would shoot wide open and I'd be greeted by nothing but darkness. Even the shadows themselves never seemed so black. The morning after was no better. I was coughing and throwing up profusely, and I still feel that way even now.
I haven't really talked to anyone. What the hell am I supposed to say? Some demonic looking creature straight out of the Hellsing manga decided to try and attack me in the woods? I already look like I'm on the lunacy fringe right now, talking like that would only further confirm my deteriorating mental state.
I truly don't feel like anywhere is safe right now. I keep expecting to turn my head and be greeted by something unholy and terrifying. Every few seconds I swear I can see those horrible black tentacles out of the corner of my eye. Just flowing effortlessly through the air and begging me to sit still long enough to make that THING'S job easier.
I need to try and get ahold of someone. I've been trying to contact Sara recently but there's no luck. I'm going to be on my way to her place soon. I won't be bringing my camera, I don't have time or the means to film this whole ordeal right now. I need to get my head straight. Maybe seeing the girl I love will help calm me. I don't know anymore. I'm willing to try anything to just make this anxiety go away.
- The Acquitted
I haven't been to my place much. After the video, I ran back home, and managed to stay there for the night. I've never been so uneasy and paranoid in my whole life. Even in the little sleep I managed to get, I was still clinging to my knife so tightly that my fingers were going numb. It felt like every few minutes my eyes would shoot wide open and I'd be greeted by nothing but darkness. Even the shadows themselves never seemed so black. The morning after was no better. I was coughing and throwing up profusely, and I still feel that way even now.
I haven't really talked to anyone. What the hell am I supposed to say? Some demonic looking creature straight out of the Hellsing manga decided to try and attack me in the woods? I already look like I'm on the lunacy fringe right now, talking like that would only further confirm my deteriorating mental state.
I truly don't feel like anywhere is safe right now. I keep expecting to turn my head and be greeted by something unholy and terrifying. Every few seconds I swear I can see those horrible black tentacles out of the corner of my eye. Just flowing effortlessly through the air and begging me to sit still long enough to make that THING'S job easier.
I need to try and get ahold of someone. I've been trying to contact Sara recently but there's no luck. I'm going to be on my way to her place soon. I won't be bringing my camera, I don't have time or the means to film this whole ordeal right now. I need to get my head straight. Maybe seeing the girl I love will help calm me. I don't know anymore. I'm willing to try anything to just make this anxiety go away.
- The Acquitted
Saturday, April 16, 2011
I don't know what to think
Got a video up on YouTube, which I'm sure has been seen already. Virtually everything I needed to say was already said. All this shit still doesn't feel real. I can't get ahold of Gordon. It shows he's online sometimes on Skype, but he doesn't stick around long enough to reply. But I guess it's at least a good sign that he's not dead. I'll probably visit him in a few days, right now I'm very tired physically and mentally. Not to mention I'm also a little nervous of being near that area.
I swear the cops here are just for show. They have no problem pulling people over for the silliest reasons, but when something serious actually happens they accuse it of being fake. I guess I can't really blame them, from what I gather no body was ever found. There were no drops of blood, no sign of struggle, nothing of the sort. Which is strange because there was quite a bit of blood that I saw on that footage.
From what I can tell it looks like she was stabbed a few times in the abdomin, pausing the video at the right time definitely shows the skin lifting and what appears to be her intestines exposed amidst a mess of blood. There was quite a bit of blood smeared across her neck and face in general, I'm guessing the attacker muffled her screams with his own bloodied hand. I'm no crime expert, but it didn't look like blood flowing from her mouth, but rather blood that was rubbed on her face.
Just thinking about it is making me pretty ill right now. It was impossibly hard to sleep last night, though for some strange reason I did manage to nod off for a little while. In my unconscious state I remember having a very vivid dream of going through a field that had fire slowly spreading throughout it. The flames were licking at the air, and from them thousands of glistening red and orange butterflies took flight. It was like they were a part of the fire itself and sought to spread to the sky. That's about all I recall bfeore waking up abruptly to a noise outside my room.
Thankfully however, it was just my cat scratching at a nearby box. That's just his way of letting me know he's hungry. Even still it made my heart jump, it's to the point where I'm sleeping with a knife underneath my pillow. I felt kinda silly charging out my door, holding a knife, only to be greeted by my small furry pet. I've always hated how he wakes me up sometimes, but I can definitely say this was one night I was relieved to find him parked on the ground looking up curiously at me.
I've talked to Sara a little bit about the incident that happened the other day. She was planning to come over today but I think something came up. Can't say I blame her, I feel dead, I wouldn't want to be around me either. Unlike her however, I don't have a choice.
Take care everyone.
- The Acquitted
I swear the cops here are just for show. They have no problem pulling people over for the silliest reasons, but when something serious actually happens they accuse it of being fake. I guess I can't really blame them, from what I gather no body was ever found. There were no drops of blood, no sign of struggle, nothing of the sort. Which is strange because there was quite a bit of blood that I saw on that footage.
From what I can tell it looks like she was stabbed a few times in the abdomin, pausing the video at the right time definitely shows the skin lifting and what appears to be her intestines exposed amidst a mess of blood. There was quite a bit of blood smeared across her neck and face in general, I'm guessing the attacker muffled her screams with his own bloodied hand. I'm no crime expert, but it didn't look like blood flowing from her mouth, but rather blood that was rubbed on her face.
Just thinking about it is making me pretty ill right now. It was impossibly hard to sleep last night, though for some strange reason I did manage to nod off for a little while. In my unconscious state I remember having a very vivid dream of going through a field that had fire slowly spreading throughout it. The flames were licking at the air, and from them thousands of glistening red and orange butterflies took flight. It was like they were a part of the fire itself and sought to spread to the sky. That's about all I recall bfeore waking up abruptly to a noise outside my room.
Thankfully however, it was just my cat scratching at a nearby box. That's just his way of letting me know he's hungry. Even still it made my heart jump, it's to the point where I'm sleeping with a knife underneath my pillow. I felt kinda silly charging out my door, holding a knife, only to be greeted by my small furry pet. I've always hated how he wakes me up sometimes, but I can definitely say this was one night I was relieved to find him parked on the ground looking up curiously at me.
I've talked to Sara a little bit about the incident that happened the other day. She was planning to come over today but I think something came up. Can't say I blame her, I feel dead, I wouldn't want to be around me either. Unlike her however, I don't have a choice.
Take care everyone.
- The Acquitted
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Miserable
I feel absolutely miserable right now. I got a little rest last night at Gordon's house, but not enough to really feel much better. My eyes still burn from exhaustion, and my body feels like it weighs ten tons.
On my way to Gordon's house I once again had the feeling I was being followed, but I didn't get my camera out in time. I noticed a black hooded figure lingering behind a row of cars, but when I went to inspect it there was nothing there. I'm starting to suspect this is less about a prank and possibly something a bit more serious. That or this sleep deprivation is really getting the better of my mental state.
To further elaborate on my deteriorating thought process, last night was a trippy experience all together. It would feel like I was sitting beside myself, watching me, watch Gordon play a video game. It was rather redundant but rather strange as well. I can only describe the event as similar to my previous experiences with Astral Projection but in a different form. I can't recall fading in and out of consciousness, as anytime I felt like I was watching myself, the me that I was watching looked wide awake (albeit "zombified").
I came home early this morning though I wasn't exactly looking forward to it. To my surprise there were no random notes, and nothing seemed out of place or out of the ordinary. This was only a temporary relief. I'm hoping perhaps I can get more than just a few hours of sleep tonight.
On a side note, I wound up leaving my camera over at Gordon's last night and am hoping to get it back before I rest. We'll see how that goes. He says it'll be here either tonight or tomorrow, whenever he feels like taking time out of his schedule to deliver it to me. Can't really blame him, he gets about as much sleep as I have. Right now even I'm too exhausted to walk through the neighborhood to get it myself.
That's all for now. Take care everyone, wish me luck on my attempts at sleep.
- The Acquitted
On my way to Gordon's house I once again had the feeling I was being followed, but I didn't get my camera out in time. I noticed a black hooded figure lingering behind a row of cars, but when I went to inspect it there was nothing there. I'm starting to suspect this is less about a prank and possibly something a bit more serious. That or this sleep deprivation is really getting the better of my mental state.
To further elaborate on my deteriorating thought process, last night was a trippy experience all together. It would feel like I was sitting beside myself, watching me, watch Gordon play a video game. It was rather redundant but rather strange as well. I can only describe the event as similar to my previous experiences with Astral Projection but in a different form. I can't recall fading in and out of consciousness, as anytime I felt like I was watching myself, the me that I was watching looked wide awake (albeit "zombified").
I came home early this morning though I wasn't exactly looking forward to it. To my surprise there were no random notes, and nothing seemed out of place or out of the ordinary. This was only a temporary relief. I'm hoping perhaps I can get more than just a few hours of sleep tonight.
On a side note, I wound up leaving my camera over at Gordon's last night and am hoping to get it back before I rest. We'll see how that goes. He says it'll be here either tonight or tomorrow, whenever he feels like taking time out of his schedule to deliver it to me. Can't really blame him, he gets about as much sleep as I have. Right now even I'm too exhausted to walk through the neighborhood to get it myself.
That's all for now. Take care everyone, wish me luck on my attempts at sleep.
- The Acquitted
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